Neither words nor the white blanket that they rest upon can even encapsulate my true PRVM experience.
While going through a transitional season in my life, I joined PRVM. After this decision, I gain my first spiritual family, who both consciously and subconsciously fertilized my spiritual walk with God; be it through class sessions and/or choir sessions. So far, I have made it through three tutoring levels and they each have their own seasonal significance. Basic signified my seed of faith, foundational investments and trusting God in the midst of fear. It also represented the need for me to continuously speak death to my flesh (even when I didn’t know the process had already begun when I had submitted my life to the will of God). At this level I sang “Hunger For Holiness by Helen Baylor” for my final assessment because I was indeed hungry for it.
Intermediate symbolized the cocoon stage of my life.
It was unfamiliar yet endeavoring. However, in the midst of all of my personal change and transformation, my shedding process forced me to look upon my scales as they fell off and respect and honour them. It was a painful, heart wrenching and sometimes a blindsiding experience at times. And as a result of this, my focus intermittently shifted from God and His promises and I focused on my yesterdays rather than my promised tomorrows. Condemnation, resentment and regret changed the colour of my heart. I became disappointed in myself by the mistakes that I had been making. But in the midst of that, somehow I could hear Shelly’s words replaying in my head: “You need to stop condemning yourself! Do you know what the word ‘condemn’ mean? Well it means that something can no longer be used; unfit for use! You unfit for use? No! Girl, people does condemn building and thing! So stop condemning yourself for me please miss lady! Know the difference between a conviction and condemnation, yuh hear meh!” And from here on out, little did I know that this nugget of wisdom that she had deposited into my spirit-man was a catalytic stepping stone for the next upcoming season in my life….The Advance Level. At the Intermediate Level, I sang “Just A Prayer Away by Yolanda Adams” for my final assessment because God knew I needed the reassurance that He was always just a prayer away for me.
Advance – My pillar of truth, my vortex and my reality check that checked in and out.
I have only recently completed this level and I am unable to conclusively describe my advance experience because it is still happening to me and I am still happening to it. At the intermediate level, Shelly had conditioned our minds to see that level, as training for The Advance Level. Therefore, I had periscopically entered into the advance level with the mind-set that I was training for The Crowning Touch Level. And also, at this juncture, my cocooning process was at its peak. Now this level was no walk in the park! We had scheduled quizzes and the unscheduled ones and a few assignments with deadlines to meet. In my opinion, classes at PRVM are NOT your typical teaching setting. Our class sessions were cultured around student-centered learning. Each class was highly interactive and mentally and spiritually stimulating yet challenging for both myself and my classmates. At this level Shelly encouraged us to become accountable to self and become our own teachers. Yes, she put her heart into the seeds that she was depositing into our soils and expected us to study and apply to show ourselves approved, (2 Timothy 2:15). And as a result, we were subconsciously groomed to understand what commitment, dedication and responsibility to self truly meant. In other words, Shelly nurtured and fertilized our autonomous personas. All now, I could still hear her saying, “Allyuh doing allyuh work? I would know inno! I would hear it! So allyuh better put in the work eh!” So we obeyed and we did put in the work; especially when it was time for our scheduled personal appointments. At these studio appointments, the expectation of a practical demonstration of all the theory that was previously learnt was high. Nevertheless, self-development never stopped and Shelly made sure off that. I must admit that in spite of that, I realize that it is easy to encounter mental blocks. I had encountered this. I started to doubt my ability vocally execute notes within my head register. It became scary for me because these lies that were fed to me by the enemy, soon became my truths. But in came Shelly again, allowing the Holy Spirit to use her and she just said this one statement that help patch up my self-esteem, (I'm paraphrasing here): “If you aim to avoid, you will get nothing; but if you aim to achieve, you will attain…” It brought some solace to me and I am grateful. And I am certain that she has done this for the rest of my peers in some form or the other. And thanks to Shelly, I can confidently say that our communicative and collaborative skills (as peers and as a family) were enhanced and we were and still are able to confidently direct our 3 own learning and ask (plenty) questions when and where necessary. Also I was able to witness my peers self-esteem grow and that encouraged me to not only motivate myself but cheer them on as well. We were and still are a team. We have gained each other’s trust through the giving and receiving of advice and even through our picong exchanges. As a class, we have laughed together, got upset together, cried together, persevered together, prayed together and worshipped together. At this level, I sang “Lord, You’re Holy by Helen Baylor” for my final assessment because in the midst of all what I am going through, He has been Sovereign to me.